Governments I want to slap
Tis the season to be silly, and whilst I’d hate to perpetuate cycles of violence, this whole “Iran threatens to slap Britain” thing sounds like too much fun to miss out on. This post is intended to be light-hearted and slightly sarcastic, so please don’t take it too seriously, after all, when governments slap, its usually the poor that suffer…
So, right now, at the tail end of 2009, who would I choose to slap? The rules here go thus: it’s the government and not its people who get slapped, and there must be some reason to carry out a slapping.
Iran – For killing protesters.
Britain – Oh, wait, what was that we were saying about Iran? OK, so Ian Tomlinson wasn’t technically a protester, but talk about the colours of pots and kettles. Its one rule for Iranian protesters and another for British protesters it seems. Also, Britain can have a second slap for the seizing of little old ladies camera’s during the Queen’s annual walk to church on Christmas day.
China – For executing a vulnerable person. If they hadn’t, they’d still probably get slapped for allowing a department store to build a “female car park”, painted pink and purple, and with extra large parking spaces, but I figure that pales into insignificance.
Egypt – For blocking an aid convoy with my friends on board. A four day excursion is now being required simply to get the vehicles to the border with Gaza. I really hope this dispels the myth of one big happy Arab family against Israel once and for all.
Denmark – For being almost the worst hosts imaginable during the Climate Summit. For basically encouraging America’s plan to have powerful nations impose a back room deal on everyone else. For orchestrating a complete lock down on anyone with a different opinion, including, astonishingly, members of official, UN recognised, state delegations.
Russia – For their addiction to dictatorship, corruption and a sort of machismo that could potentially threaten us all. Also for making it so hard to buy train tickets.
America – For continuing to believe that expansion is the only valid form of success.
Italy – Look, your premier is the respectable face of the new European fascism, but really, he’s having illicit affairs with girls only narrowly old enough to consent, let alone sleep with a man old enough to be a grandfather. For crying out loud, no political establishment should be proud of a man who does that.
Switzerland – For creating a law against one culture’s favourite architectural feature. OK, so this was a referendum vote, but anyhow point still stands, its just silly.
There are 9, and I’m struggling to pick a 10th, so now its up to you. Which state or government would you like to slap, and why?